I GOT A KITTEN! And he has a velveteen nose!
Food is the original magic– Nick
Martha: Didn't John Travolta die?
Mary: ahahahahahahahahhahhah no.
Alex Trebec would be the worst dad.– My mom
Did you see that kill!? Babe it was special.– Patrick (playing call of duty)
Joseph: what does Sponge Bob live in?
Cubby: he lives in a pinecone under the sea!
No meth heads allowed at grandmas– Andrew
Bee Tee Dubs:
Those are my new Hello Kitty glas-ses!
Homer: You have a gambling problem.
Marge: You are right I have a problem, I think I might need professional help.
Homer: No! No! Professional help is expensive, just don't do it again.
This hotel serves bacon wrapped shrimp. That’s my number one favorite...– Ron Swanson
I could not tell you how much I LOVE & HATE hiccups! Scary fun.
Once I get my nails done it’s OVER Johnnie.– Lydia (to her husband about cleaning the house)
Snitches get stitches– Donna